Two Giants in Two Days

The world of motion pictures has lost two giants within the last two days -- Ingmar Bergman, and Michelangelo Antonioni.

I must admit that I could never take a shine to Bergman. His films left me cold, drained, without a drop of sunshine.

So why did I love Antonioni that much? His classic trilogy (“L’Avventura” (1960), “La Notte” (1961) and “L’Eclisse” (1962)) was not exactly a display of "fun under the sun" either.

But first of all, Antonioni's courage to leave behind the 2,300 years old 3-Act paradigm and sail towards the unchartered waters of emotions-without-a-plot really fascinated me.

Secondly, the way he brought the sense of modern alienation into focus will probably be without an equal for a long time to come.

His "Blowup" was not bad either but at the level of the Trilogy. "The Passenger" with Jack Nicholson is another latter-day Antonioni classic that should be on every cinema fan's must-see list.

The Italian master will be missed. And perhaps I'll write about him more later on.

For the time being, I'll refer you to this excellent NYT review.

Google's Killer App

By Brandt Dainow

Google Analytics 2.0 changes everything, and according to the CEO of ThinkMetrics, the competition is dead. They just haven't stopped moving yet.

Death by Google

Google has killed the web analytics software industry with the release of the new version of Google Analytics. The new version was released just under two months ago and is simply a quantum leap above any other analytics product on the planet.

In my opinion, Google Analytics does for the web metrics industry what the Google search engine did for online search: it kills everyone else off.

Google Analytics version 2 is not revolutionary. It does not extend web analytics software by providing new forms of analysis. Neither does it extend our understanding of websites by offering new approaches. What Google has done is simply take every feature in every product on the market and put them all into one system, and then make it available for free.

http://www.imediaconnection.com/Newsletter/15823.asp

Screenwriting – The Power of “Character Arcs”

A “character arc,” that is, the changes a character goes through during the 2 hours of a movie, is one of the most tricky aspects of screenwriting.

You miss it, and you have in your hands a flat piece of narrative, a chain of events without a human-emotional core. Such movies do not move us to laughter or tears.

Nail it on the head, and the whole narrative comes alive like the juice hitting a light bulb. We can now identify with those characters and feel the satisfaction of living through their lives vicariously. Our hearts expand. Our souls take wings. Those are the movies we love to watch more than once.

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE (2006) is one such jewel in which not one but all SIX characters go through clearly defined sharp character arcs. It is a good example of careful and loving writing by Michael Arndt which won the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for him this year. Alan Arkin, as grandpa Hoover, also won a well-deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar with his unforgettable performance in “Sunshine.”

Here are the SIX arcs for SIX characters in “Sunshine”:

(WARNING: Plot points are revealed.)

OLIVE: A seven year old darling of a girl, a perfect picture of innocence, who is not quite sure of herself, whether she can win the contest and make her daddy proud… arcs to… an uninhibited beauty pageant performer on stage “kicking ass” with the dance routine taught her by her grandpa. Shy Olive refuses to be intimidated by her more polished competitors, brings down the house and shows her own dad what “winning” is all about.

RICHARD: A stuck-up and judgmental disciplinarian, a paint-by-numbers motivational speaker with strong Protestant-ethic work values, unsympathetic to the plight of the losers of the world… arcs to… himself becomes the kind of loser that he always despised in the past, gets rid of his self-righteous inhibitions and joins in with his daughter’s “ass kicking” stage performance.

DWAYNE: A catatonic and depressed teenager idolizing Frederick Nietzsche who would no talk to anyone and would communicate only by writing on a note pad… arcs to… a young adult who comes to full terms with his worst fear of not being able to become an air force pilot due to his color blindness, he starts talking with his family, and joins Olive on the stage for a wild “ass kicking” stage performance.

GRANDPA: A cantankerous foul-mouthed old man who had been kicked out of a nursing home for his heroin habit, who is bitterly critical of the world and in particular of his son’s attempts to lead a clean and “ideal” family life… arcs to… his granddaughter Olive’s most precious role model and talent coach, and a man who truly appreciates his son’s courage and the risks he is taking in life to prove himself.

SHERYL: A mother who is trying to hold her family together by acting as the sane moderator, a good woman who is busy putting out fires, steering the dysfunctional characters in her family towards common sense solutions, but also a homemaker who feels the full brunt of the family’s financial problems… arcs to… the only family member who refuses to blink at the brink of Olive’s critical talent show stage appearance, a mountain of inner strength who refuses to be intimidated by the prospects of failure even when her son and husband give in and want to pack it up and go back home.

FRANK: A catatonic survivor of a suicide attempt sitting in a wheelchair at a mental hospital before his sister Sheryl takes him to her home to join the rest of the family, a world-class Proust scholar driven to self-loathing and self-destruction for losing his male lover to his chief competitor in the academic world… arcs to… a man literally running ahead of anyone else to the hotel ballroom where Little Miss Sunshine competition is held to make sure Olive would not miss the registration, a lonely pessimist who becomes an unexpected mentor to the equally depressed Dwayne, accepts all his loses in life and joins the rest of the family on the stage to celebrate Olive’s improbable “kick ass” stage performance.

Six well developed non-overlapping characters. Six arcs. Six paths to a better life, or at least, a deeper life where love, solidarity and understanding replace hatred, sarcasm and anger.

What else can we expect from a movie?

If you are a screenwriter you owe it to yourself to watch this very well written Oscar winner and study and learn from it.

Multitasking Tips

For all you work-from-home professionals, here are some multitasking tips from David Meyer, a professor of cognition and perception at the University of Michigan (brought to you by WIRED magazine):

1) Double up on tasks that use different mental channels like writing a report and brainstorming for a company logo.

2) Think carefully about the requirements of each task. If you are trying to close the sales while driving a car and the conversation does not go as planned you might be endangering both your life and the lives of innocent others.

3) Minimize unnecessary distractions by switching off your phone ringer, shutting down your email and closing the door (if you have one).

4) Interrupt tasks at natural breaking points. Finish writing a sentence before answering a phone.

5) Set aside time for not doing anything at all. Take breaks, eat well, exercise and make sure you get enough sleep.

Hollywood Writers Up in Arms Over "Residuals"

In this day and age of free YouTube downloads, webisodes, and mobisodes, "creatives" of Hollywood think they are shortchanged. They want a piece of the "backend." They want "residuals." That is, they want to get paid everytime, for example, you log on to ABC's web site and watch any episode of any show.

Or else? WGA, The all-powerful Writers Guild of America, will go on strike on October 31. So the studios are busy like crazy stocking up on extra scripts and shooting all those back-logged episodes so they'll be ready if and when the writer's strike hits Hollywood like a tsunami.

"Tsunami"? Well, perhaps I went overboard with that description because the last time WGA went on strike in the 1980s over the home video rights, 9,000 WGA members walked out. But then they came back for only 0.3 cents on the dollar! It turned out the writers' pocketbooks bled a lot faster that the "suits" in corporate offices. It's an embarrassing episode that most WGA members would rather forget.

One alternative is for the suits and the creatives share the ad revenues on these sites. But probably that's not going to happen anytime soon since the suits accuse the writers with splitting the profits but not the risks as, for example, when a show that has cost tens of millions of dollars bombs completely.

Gobbledygook of the Day: "Swimming Venues"

Obfuscation, or making what is plain unclear and cover it with a veil of mystery, comes easy to some public speakers.

The other day as I was driving in my car and listening to a program on the various hazards of spending a day at the beach, I heard one of the experts say:

"I have to caution your listeners to be careful when they visit hundreds of thousands of swimming venues this summer..."

SWIMMING VENUES??? That was a new one for me. Why not just say "pools and beaches"?

Clarity and relevance should not be the cost of abstraction and generalization.

Google Analytics - Simply Amazing!

If you haven't tried "Google Analytics" yet you owe it to yourself to check it out right away.

If you have a web site and if you'd like to see who is visiting your site, when, from where (including country and city), how much time they spend on what page, etc. then you need Google Analytics -- which is FREE.

You register with Google and place your custom-generated HTML code inside the HEAD section of all the pages you'd like to track. The rest is taken care of by Google.

All reports can be mailed in 4 different formats both to yourself and to anybody else you like on earth.

You can track the traffic of multiple web sites from one single account.

There are some truly very smart people working out there in Google. They continue to amaze me on a weekly basis.

While Microsoft is trying to protect its hold on the IT sector through all kinds of marketing strategies but weak products, Google is letting their products do the talking.

Copy + Paste is not a simple operation with MacBook

MacBook is a visually stunning gorgeous piece of hardware which makes its software issues all the more so heartbreaking. It's the equivalent of a very beautiful girl belching aloud in public.

I've previously written here about the kind of problems the Mac-native browser Safari has with some Google functionalities that I use on a regular bases (like Google Documents, and Google Pages).

Yesterday I was dismayed to discover yet another MacBook dysfunction, this one much more serious than the Google incompatibility issue.

It is hard to believe but...

If you copy text from your word document, MacBook will NOT allow you to paste it into either your e-mail message or any Google Document file!

The only way you can send that text is to save it as a separate file and then ATTACH it to your e-mail, or just type the whole thing the good-old fashioned way. (I hope, unlike me, you are fast typist.)

I still find that hard to believe... such a glaring shortcoming, and yet, MacBooks are still selling like hotcakes.

I'm praying I'm wrong and that I just missed a very simple setting that will eventually set everything right.

But I tried it both with Safari and Firefox and both don't work. If you copy from a file on your machine, you cannot paste it into your e-mail window.

I have no idea what to make of that but if I cannot fix it one way or the other, I think I am returning my beautiful MacBook back to the store and order myself the new DELL UBUNTU lap top. At least I know most of the things that can go wrong on an UBUNTU system and copy-paste function is not one of them.

POST SCRIPT:

After talking with Mac people, it became apparent that the copy-paste does not woth with OPEN OFFICE but it does with MS Word.

MSN News versus Google News search functions

I find Google's news search functionality to be a lot more accurate and focused than MSN's news search.

Here is an unscientific comparison for a specific key phrase. You be the judge.

TOP 10 MSN News Search results for search key phrase “travel nurse”:

http://search.msn.com/news/results.aspx?q=travel+nurse&form=QBNR&go.x=13&go.y=6

TITLES of the returned articles:

She's always ready to go Retired nurse packs her bags at a moment's ...

For fliers, fares are still ascending

Summer nights: Rimini

You want screenwriting advice? Ask this writer

Couple creating a refuge for children

Free health screenings in Haines City

Make My Day

Letters: 'Our government needs a serious overhaul'

Transplant Rules to Let Children Stay Home

Missing, found, but in denial

TOP 10 Google News Search results for search key phrase “travel nurse”:

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=us&q=travel+nurse

TITLES of the returned articles:

Pack up your troubles

ATC Healthcare Revenue Increases 25% for the First Quarter of ...

Jury consultant in nurse murder trial tells lawyers how to dress ...

She's always ready to go Retired nurse packs her bags at a ...

Take Care will contract with individual doctors to oversee nurse practitioners who staff

New Study of Nurses Reveal Sources of Injectable Medication Errors

“Surgery Robots” Mean More Education and Training for both Nurses ...

Hanover works to recruit nurses

Thanks for the miracle

Traveling man

Copy That Creates Questions

Good copy should answer questions, not create them.

From an air filter commercial:

"Nine times better than the leading brand..."

Really?

If a product is NINE times better than the "leading brand," how come it trails behind? How come it's not the leading brand?

Either the consumers don't know what they're doing, or the copywriter...

Troubling questions that did not exist before the commercial.

Firefox Works on Mac OS 10 Tiger, well, "sort of"

Firefox browser works better than Mac-native Safari as far as some Google functions are concerned.

For example, one can reach all Blogger controls when posting onto a blog from inside Firefox.

However, Google Page Creator still does not work. The Fox cannot catch Fire on that one item, unfortunately.

If you are planning to edit your Google Page Creator web site you need to use IE browser on a Windows machine.

Is this Google's problem? The problem of Mozilla/Firefox or Apple/OS X team? Or all of them?

It seems like someone does not like us to use Google Page Creator on any platform other than IE/Windows.

That's unfortunate because I really love the simplicity and versatility of Google Pages and have my official site built with it (www.writer111.com). It really works for me except I need to switch to my IE/Windows machine every time I need to edit it.

I'm lucky and I have access to a Windows machine as well. But what about those who are operating only on Linux or Mac systems?

The Gobbledygook Word of The Year: “Specificity”

Perhaps it’s still too early for the nominations but I hereby nominate the following monstrosity for the Gobbledygook Word of The Year:

“Specificity”, and even worse, “Specificities”, in its plural form.

Try saying it three times in a row and you’ll instantly forget what time it is or where you are.

Examples from world press:

“Angola: SADC Secretary Acknowledges Country's Specificities” (Angola Press Agency)

"This White Paper … enhances the visibility of sport in EU policy-making, raises awareness of the needs and specificities of the sport sector, and identifies appropriate further action at EU level." (Ján Figel, European Commissioner in charge of Education, Training, Culture & Youth, including Sport)

The European Neighbourhood Policy (ENP) Action Plans, which were signed in November 2006, take into account the specificities of the South Caucasus countries.” (Ambassador Per Eklund, Head of Delegation of the European Commission to Georgia and Armenia)

“Specificity” has two main definitions. Its medical definition means something.

But its non-medical definition is a true abomination. It describes anything but a state of being “specific.” It’s just a vacuous place holder for an idea not quite formed in an ill-informed mind.

MEDICAL definition: “The ability of a test to detect that a condition is not present when it is, in fact, not present. The proportion of people free of a disease who have a negative test.”

NON-MEDICAL definition: “The quality of being specific rather than general; "add a desirable note of specificity to the discussion"; "the specificity of the symptoms of the disease.””

To refer to a group of items that are not clearly defined as “specificities” is as ridiculous an act as calling a group of dead people “existentiaries”.

There should be an article in the penal code against using such words of obfuscation that pollute public communication channels and thus undermine common good, peace and harmony.

What you definitely do NOT need to WRITE a good screenplay?

You definitely, absolutely, positively do NOT need any of the following to START and FINISH writing a good screenplay:

An encyclopedic knowledge of every movie ever written.
Watching ten movies a week.
An intimate knowledgeable of the “lingo” used in Hollywood shoptalk.
Subscriptions to all Hollywood related magazine and newsletters.
Spending thousands of dollars on famous screenwriting workshops.
A Hollywood agent, manager and/or publicist.
An intimate knowledgeable of the way Los Angeles and Hollywood works.
An English, Film Studies or Screenwriting degree from a well-known college.
A college degree of any kind, including a Master’s or a P-h-D.
An intimate knowledgeable of Shakespeare.
Any drug habit.
Smoking cigarettes and/or drinking alcohol.
To be a Christian, Moslem, Jew, Hindu, Scientologist, Atheist or to belong (or not to belong) to any other religion or belief system.
An intimate knowledgeable of the underworld and the seedy side of life.
An intimate knowledgeable of police and court procedurals.
An intimate knowledgeable of doctors and hospitals.
Lots of cash in the bank.
To be homeless and at the edge of absolute poverty.
Lots of free idle time.
An “Oscar material” subject matter.
An idea that has never been written before.
A film that A-List Hollywood actors would die to star in.
To be under 25 or 30.
To be over 40 or 50.
To be any given specific age.
To be a male or female.
To be straight, gay, or of any other sexual orientation.
To be white, black, Hispanic, Indian, Oriental or belong to any of the thousands of ethnic/racial groups.
To have a child or not to have a child.
To come from a large or a small family.
To have been born in the United States or abroad.
A top-notch professional screen writing software.
A Mac brand or any other brand computer.
A blog and/or web site visited by thousands of people a day.
A house in any neighborhood of any city on earth.
The latest cell phone or Blackberry with all the bells and whistles.
A great looking sports car or any given brand of vehicle.
Visiting Europe for your vacations or any other country or spot on earth for any occasion.

Safari - A Handsome Browser with Google Limitations

Mac's SAFARI browser is a great, sleek browsing machine until you want it to accomplish some specific Google-related chores that you could do easily with Firefox and IE.

One great disappointment, for example, is the way Safari cannot display most of the Google Blogger posting controls. You cannot bold or italic your text, cannot spellcheck, etc.

Also, if you are using Google's great online web builder and free hosting service "Google Pages," Safari does not work AT ALL. Period. Google is aware of the pesky issue and a message page recommends the user to download Firefox. Thanks, really.

But I have to note that, if you are using Firefox on a Linux distribution like Ubuntu, the editing function of Google Pages still does not work. You still need IE on a Windows machine to edit your Google Pages. Consumer beware!

What excuse Apple has to let Safari lag so many steps behind in functionality compared to Firefox and IE? For a company that markets itself as "on the cutting edge," it is unbecoming to rely on a browser that is not totally Google-compatible.

Great looks are great but we need full Google compatibility as well.

10th Year - Happy Blogging!

I did not realize this is the 10th anniversary of the invention of blog.

Wall Street Journal observed the moment with a great piece: Happy Blogiversary.

"The spell check on Microsoft Word has yet to awaken to the concept of the blog. Type in "blogging," for instance, and you will promptly earn a disapproving underscore in red, with the suggestion that "bogging," "clogging," "flogging" or "slogging" (unappetizing alternatives all) might, in truth, be the word you seek."

Here are some famous folks and the blogs they read:

Harold Evans
Editor at large, the Week
Former editor, the Times of London
Favorite blogs: AndrewSullivan.com (political pundit for the Atlantic Monthly); MichaelTotten.com (Mideast affairs blogger); HeadButler.com (news and culture roundup)

Mia Farrow
The Editor in Chief: Me
Actress
Favorite blogs: BoingBoing.net (Tracks nooks and crannies of the Web); GPSMagazine.com (Everything about global positioning systems)

Brig. Gen. Kevin Bergner
'Milblogging' the War
Spokesman for Multi-National Force, in Iraq
Favorite blogs: "Around here, folks like to read Small Wars Journal (http://smallwarsjournal.com/index.php), Blackfive (http://www.blackfive.net/) and The Mudville Gazette (http://www.mudvillegazette.com/)."

Newt Gingrich
Former House speaker
Favorite blogs: RedState.com (Republican news and notes); Corner.NationalReview.com (conservative magazine's politics blog); PowerlineBlog.com (covers law and right-leaning politics)

Jim Buckmaster
CEO, Craigslist
Favorite blogs: Slashdot.org (one of the first tech blogs); Metafilter.com (community blog anyone can edit); Valleywag.com (tech gossip site); TechDirt.com (popular tech news site)

Avoid Stuffy English

Commercial prose is so open to dragging in the deadwood to the center of your living room and just forgetting it there...

One such oddity I've heard this morning on the radio was the phrase "near impossibility."

People (in America) don't talk like that. They say something is "almost impossible" -- not "it is a near impossibility."

Even worse -- have you ever heard anybody saying "honey, don't forget to take your umbrella against a precipitation activity" (which might very well be a "near possibility"!).

Listen to any weather report and you can perhaps hear them issue an alert against "precipitation activity."

Sometimes even the traffic reporters get in the mood and start talking about an "accident activity on the right shoulder on I-95"... ugh!

Read aloud what you write and ask yourself if normal people talk like that. If they do, you've got great prose. Congratulations. If not, burn what you've written and don't tell anyone about it. We'll all be better for it.

Shuttle's Name Misspelled On NASA Launch Pad Sign

(What an incredible story!)

local6.com

Shuttle's Name Misspelled On NASA Launch Pad Sign
Someone Called Kennedy Space Center NASA To Fix Typo

POSTED: 7:38 am EDT July 13, 2007
UPDATED: 9:25 am EDT July 13, 2007

The first NASA sign at launch pad 39A encouraging the next launch of space shuttle Endeavour at Kennedy Space Center was misspelled and noticed by someone looking at the craft.

When the shuttle rolled out from the Vehicle Assembly Building Wednesday, a giant "Go Endeavour" sign was put on a fence in front of the craft.

However, one item was missing from the sign: the "u" in Endeavour.

Someone spotted the mistake and called KSC to fix it, WKMG-TV reported.

NASA scrambled someone out to pad 39A with a new sign that has orbiter Endeavour's name spelled correctly.

A photo with the correct spelling was also posted on the Kennedy Space Center's Web site.

The orbiter is named after HM Bark Endeavour, the ship commanded by 18th century explorer James Cook; the name also honored Endeavour, the Command Module of Apollo 15. This is why the name is spelled in the British English manner, according to Answers.com.

Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

Importance of Keeping Your Work Close to Your Vest

It happens all the time...

A writer working on his or her first script, first novel, thinks it would a "great" idea to "share" it with a spouse, lover, child, friend, parent, co-worker or neighbor...

And the result is an unintended punch to the gut. The work stops right there. Enthusiasm and joy is replaced by doubts, second thoughts and eventually depression.

Why? Do our loved ones mean to harm us? Of course not.

Do they have an "ulterior motive" or a "sinister agenda"? Absolutely not.

But this is their problem -- they are NOT writers.

So they have no idea about the sensitive "mental and spiritual soup" in which our ideas and most precious creations ferment, multiply, and take shape as stories, scripts, articles and novels. It is a mysterious process, part "science" but mostly magic. That soup can be soured very easily by criticism while we are still adding crucial ingredients to it.

A lot of people think to give a "feedback" is to point out to the things that are missing. We all have that impulse to come across as "thoughtful" and usually the way we try to come across as thoughtful is to point out at what's "missing" or "wrong" with a project.

Even a casual and well-meaning comment like "I think that's been done before" is usually enough to dampen the spirits of a writer and mortgage her determination to press onward.

That's why I strongly recommend all my writer brothers and sisters not to show their hands too early, and not to ask their loved ones to read their stuff until it is 100% DONE. Only then they can read it if they please and enrich our work with their thoughful insights and learned suggestions.

But until then you have to protect your work just like a mother hen protects her chickens or a banker protects his vault.

Value of a Web Site ~ "Page Views" or "Time Spent"?

Nielsen rating company has shifted from the traditional “number of page views” to “time spent viewing a page” to measure a web site’s commercial worth.

This is a decision that will have a serious impact on all advertising companies that determine their web advertisement rates on the basis of such "objective" metrics.

The new Ajax technology seems to be the main culprit why Nielsen felt the need to adopt this new criterion. Ajax allows refreshing the web content without refreshing the page view. You must have noticed the way a new mail appears in your email window without re-loading the page, as we all used to do in the past.

Another reason why the traditional “page view” is considered losing its relevance is the streaming video sites like YouTube where visitors spend a lot of time on a single page watching one video clip after another.

On the basis of this new measuring stick, Nielsen has announced AOL as the winner of May’s “most popular” web site, with a total viewing time of 25 billion minutes, followed by Yahoo at 20 billion minutes. But by page view alone, AOL would have ranked sixth.

Google, although ranks 3rd by page views, dropped to fifth in terms of time spent since people leave Google screen quickly after a search is completed.

But I believe this new criterion has a serious flaw in this day and age of tabbed browsers.

What if you visit a site on one tab, then open another tab and go to another site, then do it for a third or fourth time? I find myself doing precisely that all the time.

What happens to the site left open for 20 hours on a forgotten tab? Does that mean that I have spent 20 hours on that site? Of course not.

How come Nielsen missed such a simple point is beyond me. I’m sure major advertisers are already grappling with this real issue.

Ambiguous Envelope Teaser

Envelope teasers are very crucial in direct mail since the prospective customer has about 3 or 5 seconds to decide whether to open your envelope or chuck it into the trash bin.

Here is a weak and rather annoying envelope teaser that would've directly gone to the trash basket if I weren't a professional copywriter who likes to meditate on these things and tries to learn something new everyday about this fascinating business of direct mail:

"Is This Little-Known Energy Company America's Next Major Uranium Producer?"

My first reaction is:

"You are asking ME? How the heck would I know? YOU are supposed to be the expert and yet you don't know whether THIS [whatever it is] little-known company is the next big thing on the horizon or not?"

As I read the envelope teaser I'm wondering if THIS is a way for me to make money OR provide free information to someone who doesn't quite has the skinny on this "little known company" yet...

Who knows, perhaps this "little known company" is little known for a very good reason indeed!

This teaser has already lost me with its indecisiveness.

Then comes the next line:

"Time-Sensitive Report. Open Immediately."

No. Sorry. I won't. Because who ever wrote the copy is not sure of this company at all. If the publisher is not sure of his/her facts, how can I trust him/her to lead me?

Why didn't this teaser really teased the heck out of me and did its job with no holds barred by saying something like:

"Little known company... about to explode (guaranteed!) as America's next major uranium producer. Limited-time opportunity to get in on the action before the little known company is not so anymore..."

Now, THAT would have perked my attention because of the firmness of the voice and the strength of the promise.

If you want me to open that envelope DO NOT ASK ME PUZZLES and DO NOT MAKE ME THINK.

If you are trying to write a teaser don't be halfhearted or shy about it. Make sure you are really TEASING instead of posing intellectual puzzles with no answers.